Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Using children to score points.

It might seem a strange title to give a post but its what I have been witnessing and experiencing recently with my family.

I am getting tired of hearing the phrase; " Oh she's been doing that with me for ages!" Meaning that I am obviously more aware of what your child is capable of than you. Or " I think she prefers to do it this way because she does it this way in my house!"

What is the purpose of these sentences? Are they to cause hurt? Don't think so. Are they to try and be helpful in a non selfish way? Don't think so. Are they in anyway constructive? Definitely not. They are, in my opinion a way of trying to make others sit up and take notice of what a wonderful child rearer you are and how you must have been the only person to have thought how to get a child to perform. For performing is what it is. I always remember by best friend's mother talking of the arrogance of a TV child phsycologist who had just brought out a new book on how to bring up children!" What!" she said, "how can you have a set of hard and fast rules in bringing up children?Are they not individuals who deserve to be treated as such."
This woman had brought up 5 boys, virtually on her own, and each one of them has been successful in their own ways, from a Civil Engineer to an Artist, a Musician, Trades Union Official and a very successful businessman. I think I would listen to someone like that rather than self-important TV personality.

This was an article I read recently by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev and it made a lot of sense to me althought the first sentence took me back a bit. Nevertheless there is much truth in what he is saying

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Quite a while but two occasions sticks out!

It's been quite sometime since I posted here last and so much has happened over the last few months I don't know where to start. Friends have died and babies have been born. Disasters have happened and miracles have occured. Too much really to try and catch up in this post and when I think of it, the extraordinary events of the last few months are not that extraordinary but are rather common events that happen most years but they still make the news and still reinforce in me that I am but one small cog in this giant wheel called life. I matter and would be missed if I wasn't there but my influence on the big picture is so infinitesimal that all I can try and manage is my own life.

There are two things that stick out for me over the last few months. One is Kate's 2nd birthday on August 14th and the family holiday in Tuscany. Two wonderful occasions that I will treasure.

Kate looking gorgeous on her second birthday

Kate making her birthday wishes!

The holiday in Tuscany was quite an adventure mostly because of the dynamics of the family. Having two teenage sons at 16 and 14 plus a little girl aged 2 makes for interesting, not to say imaginative holidays. It was a great success though and I'm proud of all of us in the way we could give and take in order that everyone got something from the holiday.

View from the house in Metra di Carpinelli

The family outside the Duomo in Barga