Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Using children to score points.

It might seem a strange title to give a post but its what I have been witnessing and experiencing recently with my family.

I am getting tired of hearing the phrase; " Oh she's been doing that with me for ages!" Meaning that I am obviously more aware of what your child is capable of than you. Or " I think she prefers to do it this way because she does it this way in my house!"

What is the purpose of these sentences? Are they to cause hurt? Don't think so. Are they to try and be helpful in a non selfish way? Don't think so. Are they in anyway constructive? Definitely not. They are, in my opinion a way of trying to make others sit up and take notice of what a wonderful child rearer you are and how you must have been the only person to have thought how to get a child to perform. For performing is what it is. I always remember by best friend's mother talking of the arrogance of a TV child phsycologist who had just brought out a new book on how to bring up children!" What!" she said, "how can you have a set of hard and fast rules in bringing up children?Are they not individuals who deserve to be treated as such."
This woman had brought up 5 boys, virtually on her own, and each one of them has been successful in their own ways, from a Civil Engineer to an Artist, a Musician, Trades Union Official and a very successful businessman. I think I would listen to someone like that rather than self-important TV personality.

This was an article I read recently by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev and it made a lot of sense to me althought the first sentence took me back a bit. Nevertheless there is much truth in what he is saying
http://www.chennaionline.com/health/yoga/2005/08yoga55.asp

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