Monday, September 12, 2016

Sorry! I forgot all about you!

It's been just under 3 years since I wrote on my blog and that is ridiculous. I've got a lot to say but never seem to remember to put it down here. I do keep a diary but that is totally private and some of it would be totally inappropriate on here. In fact I would probably be sued, divorced and homeless if it was all out in the public domain!

The last time I wrote here was not long after my wife had been diagnosed with Cancer of the Uterus and just the difficulty of 2013. Things have moved on from that and Caroline is in disgustingly good health and enjoying life in the orchestra as well as the family. She was very fortunate to have had the early diagnosis and a very skilful surgeon who removed all traces of the horrible disease. The whole family will be forever grateful of the magnificent work they have and continue to do. I know man people say it but it's worth repeating: Thank God for the NHS!!

Over these last there years it has not all been plain-sailing. My Father died two years ago in August. He was aged 83yrs and had been suffering from Prostate Cancer for at least a couple of years. There were times when I would look at him and because he looked so well, would be alive forever. He had had a kidney transplant that lasted 26yrs and in the end it became affected. That and other organs all began to say "enough". The hospital and consultant were all brilliant and didn't try to hide anything from us. They told us what to expect and when to expect it. We were indeed ready for my Dad when he breathed his last. The whole family managed to be there and he slipped off very peacefully.

As with any death of a loved one; a void appears. That void was not too bad for myself and my brothers as we got on with our lives and families. The vow was most certainly felt by my Mum on numerous ways. It became very noticeable that she had depended on my Dad for most things. She didn't drive and he did. When he was gone she became stuck. Her confidence had been taken away and that wasn't only because of the car, it was moreso because my Dad was not there to help and reassure her. She stopped going out of the house and didn't even venture into her beloved garden. The only people who she had contact with, apart from her immediate family, were the home helps who came n 3 times a day. They were magnificent and one in particular, Christine, became a very close friend. Even with all that support the inevitable happened and 14 months ago she suffered  a severe stroke. Myself and my two brothers were prepared for the worst but my Mum 'aint no quitter and she pulled through and has survived the stroke. Surviving is what most people would seek but there is more to life and so my Mum survived but at what cost? she had a lot of damage to her brain and that has resulted in her having serve dementia and unable to do anything for herself. She survives in Mearnskirk Hospital and has not been out of bed for over 13 months. She can do nothing but tell us occasional fantastic stories that makes stand in awe at how the brain actually works!

That I suppose is a short synopsis of what has been going on with me over the last 3 years. The story of my Mum and her adventures deserve more space, so I shall return with more detail of what happens when you are old and infirm in Scotland today. Some part are brilliant others make you despair. Till I remember again!